Dear readers and friends, original version
Also today a coaching article on personality, a very interesting and comprehensive article, this time too, of an exercise to use . This article also has the function of helping if accompanied by sincere introspection, because as I always repeat: no one can lie to themselves and it is useless to make fun of yourself. These articles stimulate self-understanding, acceptance, change where you can and above all love yourself. As in every Life Coaching context we are examining, there are only small explanations and many questions. Finding these answers is our task, discovering ourselves to then improve ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are is the ultimate goal. As has already been said in several articles:
“A question at the right time can change your life or at least the vision you have of it.”
Neuroticism and stability exist on a spectrum that we can manage through a process; the same goes for extroversion and introversion. Although people, in many cases, exhibit more extroverted than introverted tendencies (and vice versa), extroversion and introversion rarely exist as a dichotomy: people will usually always have traits of each and exist on a spectrum between the two.
Many of us feel envious of other people for personality traits that we lack. We may envy someone who is calmer, more confident, more outgoing, more talkative, more reserved, more patient, or friendlier. However, more often than not, this envy is underlined by a sense of hopelessness and defeatism. When we see these traits in other people that we admire and would like to emulate, most people believe that emulation is impossible.
What we must learn and accept is that our personality consists of our attitudes, beliefs, actions and behaviors rather than our genetic disposition.
As we label ourselves mentally and verbally, we find ourselves going through life acting in accordance with who we believe we are, but if we began to make changes in our beliefs and identities, all aspects of our lives would change, including our personality.
EXTRAVERSION-INTROVERSION
Extraversion-introversion is a central dimension of the theories of human personality popularized by Carl Jung.
Extroversion is primarily identified with individuals who obtain energy and gratification from sources external to themselves.
They derive pleasure from being part of social gatherings that include, but are not limited to, parties, classrooms, public marches, team sports, clubs, and business or political groups. Extroverts are known to work well in communities and groups and find more reward in spending time with others than alone.
Introverts, on the other hand, are primarily interested in their mental self. They are more reflective and withdrawn from others, and many report having their energy drained by social interactions of any kind.
They tend to focus on single, solitary activities at a time and place particular importance on being selective with who they spend time with, particularly when it comes to romantic couples.
Extraversion and introversion exist as a continuum; a person fits more on an extroversion/introversion scale than how the two concepts are placed on the individual. Eysenck believed that both attitudes were related to levels of brain activity, also known as cortical arousal.
He argued that it was because extraverts experienced lower levels of cortical arousal that they sought excitement from external stimuli, whereas introverts avoided any risk of being overly excited by stimuli (Eysenck, 1979).
NEUROTICISM-EMOTIONAL STABILITY
Neuroticism refers to an individual's tendency to respond with negative emotions to negative experiences such as threat, frustration, anxiety, stress, or loss.
Those with high neurotic tendencies focus disproportionately on negative incidents in life and respond extremely to trivial issues to the point that they find it difficult or impossible to address them.
High neuroticism is related to many different mental and physical disorders and is also known to negatively impact the quality and longevity of our lives.
On the other hand, those with greater emotional stability are able to stay more grounded during stressful or challenging events, can tolerate failures, and remain calm during scary or dangerous situations.
It is important to make a distinction between personality and identity. Personalities are susceptible to changing conditions, moods, circumstances, changes in beliefs, behaviors and attitudes, while identity is a core system that we allow to grow and, in turn, alter our identity accordingly.
The depth of our vision of ourselves determines how we interact with other people.
The idea of changing parts of our personality can cause some internal conflict; people are afraid that altering a part of themselves will cause an internal cosmic change that will undo all that is good in you. One of the most common fears in this respect is that some depressed people fear losing their empathy or their artistic talent, so while they know that depression is holding them back in life, a small part of them recoil from the idea of striving for recovery because they are afraid of who they will become without depression.
The way to overcome the paralyzing fear of "losing yourself" when adapting your personality is to ask yourself, "what will others miss if I don't change this part of my personality?" Or, what am I missing?'
If a person is moody, rigid, or anxious in thinking (cognitively inflexible), their emotions will remain relatively consistent. If this person remains moody and anxious and does not try to change their thinking (or tries but fails), they will feel defeated and will continue to identify with how they feel: I feel therefore I am what I feel.
The more deeply our identity is rooted in our emotions, the less susceptible we will be to change, because experiencing any other emotion or way of thinking will seem incongruent and insincere.
Sure, you may feel anxious or depressed for years, but developing a new habit or attitude about life isn't impossible. You are not meant to be isolated, depressed, anxious, and lonely – you are meant to be the life you create for yourself. Committing to pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone and breaking apart your personality identities is challenging and, potentially, stressful and upsetting, but if you maintain a fixed definition of who you are, nothing in your life will change .
Changing our personality in certain emotional and behavioral aspects does not mean that we get rid of all harmful and negative emotions. Being perfectly happy, calm, outgoing, and talkative all the time can make you untrustworthy with others, and our negative emotions can guide us through our priorities, goals, mindset, and decisions. Maintaining a healthy balance between positive and negative emotions and behaviors makes us more relatable to other people and keeps our self-awareness in check.
The question to ask yourself is, “This is who you are right now, but how else could you be to get the results you want in your life?”
Well, after this work of intellectual knowledge, we conclude the article with the most important part: the exercise to be performed.
EXERCISE
Identify how you can begin to change to become more like the person you ideally want to be. Below is Hans J. Eysenck's model, with a list of personality traits. Circle or highlight the ones you identify with most and challenge yourself to examine the ones holding you back in life. What can you change about who you are to help you progress further in life and make you more like your ideal self?
EXERCISE
Are there traits here that you identify as an obstacle or are there traits that you would like to adopt? On a new page, redraw the diagram and add anything else you can think of, listing in three different colors the traits you have, the ones you would like, and the ones you would like to change/limit/manage.
You can never be perfect. We will always behave imperfectly; but by recognizing your harmful traits, you will become more knowledgeable about how to manage them and ensure they no longer hinder your growth.
The information in this article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as health or medical advice. Always consult a physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have about a medical condition or health goals.
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