Dear readers and friends,
Also today a coaching article and again Dr. Albert Ellis with his "ABC " model. This article also has the function of helping if accompanied by sincere introspection, because as I always repeat: no one can lie to themselves and it is useless to make fun of yourself. These articles stimulate self-understanding, acceptance, change where you can and above all love yourself. As in every Life Coaching context we are examining, there are only small explanations and many questions. Finding these answers is our task, discovering ourselves to then improve ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are is the ultimate goal. As has already been said in several articles:
“A question at the right time can change your life or at least the vision you have of it.”
Why do people have different reactions to stress and adversity?
Many people believe that negative events push them to act in a certain way. However, research tells us that our reactions are based on our beliefs about the situation rather than the situation itself. When adversity occurs, the first thing we try to do is explain to ourselves why it happened rather than examine what beliefs we have that made us feel the way we did.
Psychologist Dr Albert Ellis created the ABC model to help people understand the meaning of their reactions to adversity:
A is adversity: the event or situation.
B is the belief or thought: our explanation as to why the event/situation occurred.
There is the resulting emotion and behavior: the feelings and behaviors that our beliefs cause.
A = Event/Adversity Trigger
Triggering events are triggers that cause potential stress. There are different types of stressors; for example, most people would find the stressors of life events, such as the death of a loved one, extremely difficult and stressful. Then there are the “daily hassles” which are more common stressors.
Not everyone finds these daily problems stressful because our individual beliefs, thoughts, and perceptions about daily problems determine whether the event is stressful for us or not.
B = Belief/Thought
When we are born, we come into the world as a blank slate: we have no beliefs, opinions, perceptions, or points of view. As soon as we can talk and listen, we start to know the opinions of our parents, our peers, classmates, etc. We automatically begin to use these beliefs as a model for interpreting ourselves, others, and the world in general.
The main problem is that others will not necessarily have the same model, the same beliefs and the same opinions that we have.
Individuals use their beliefs to interpret what is happening to them. These beliefs might be accurate, optimistic, possible, and flexible, in which case, these types of beliefs or thinking skills can help reduce the amount of stress a person experiences in life. However, many beliefs take the form of automatic negative thoughts that are often rigid, inflexible and pessimistic and this can play a major role in exacerbating an individual's stress levels. Fortunately, it is possible to change our beliefs and, as a result, reduce our stress levels.
The purpose of the ABC model is to shift attention from external events to our internal processing of the event (i.e., our beliefs). Our interpretation of the event is a subconscious reaction that occurs automatically. This idea developed from Freud's Iceberg theory, which explores the concept that there are three levels of consciousness: conscious, subconscious, and unconscious.
SELF CONSCIOUS
The first level of consciousness is known as the conscious state:
refers to the rational awareness that guides our daily decisions.
The conscious mind is made up of what we are aware of at any given moment .
It includes the things we are thinking about right now, both in the front of our mind and in the back. If we are aware of it, then it is in the conscious mind.
All the thoughts that pass through your mind, the sensations and perceptions of the outside world, and the memories you bring to your awareness are all part of that conscious experience.
We use our conscious mind when we receive input from our senses, analyze information, and then make decisions based on this information.
SUBCONSCIOUS / PRECONSCIOUS
The next level of consciousness, the subconscious, has rather weak awareness: it is the stuff dreams are made of.
We can think of it as the storehouse of all remembered experiences, the impressions left on the mind by those experiences, and the tendencies that are awakened or strengthened by these impressions.
Every experience you have had, every thought, every impression lives in the subconscious mind and influences our thought and behavior patterns much more than we think. The subconscious contains information that lies just below the surface of awareness.
An individual can retrieve such information with relative ease, and we usually call them memories.
UNCONSCIOUS
The final level of unconsciousness is known as the unconscious.
This is made up of primitive/instinctual thoughts, memories and desires that are buried deep within ourselves, far below our conscious awareness.
Even if we are not aware of their existence, they have a significant influence on our behavior. Although our behaviors tend to indicate the unconscious forces that drive them, we cannot easily access the information stored in the unconscious mind. Throughout our childhood, we collected many different memories and experiences that formed the beliefs, fears, and insecurities we carry today. However, we cannot recall most of these memories.
They are unconscious forces that guide our behaviors.
For example, things in your unconscious that may be forgotten include negative experiences from your past, a strong dislike of a parent, or a traumatic event that you have expelled from your subconscious. Likewise, each of us will often have a part of ourselves that we will reveal to others, while most of us will be deeply submerged and no one will ever see it.
C = Consequent emotion/behavior
The final part of the A+B=C equation is Emotion/Consequent Behavior.
This refers to the feelings/behaviors that occur as a result of an individual's beliefs and self-talk in response to the trigger.
These feelings/behaviors could include stress, fear, worry, anxiety, frustration, anger, aggression, depression, irritability, avoidance, social withdrawal, etc.
A is never the same as C: it is a process. A + B = C. Here is an example of the ABC framework applied to a young woman whose boyfriend has just ended their relationship.
A = Trigger Event = 'My boyfriend left me.'
B = Belief = 'I can't live without him. Everyone always leaves me. There must be something wrong with me. Life is not worth living without someone to love and care about me.'
C = Consequent emotion/behavior = Feels sad because the relationship is over but continues with the things she enjoys in life.
This ABC framework helps people begin to identify their limiting beliefs and create awareness about how they think. By identifying thoughts that are often irrational, illogical, and unhelpful, they can begin to challenge them and begin practicing replacing them with healthier alternatives.
EXERCISE
Take 10-15 minutes to apply this model to yourself. Consider an issue, problem, or problematic emotion that you are currently facing in your life and process it through the model.
What are the underlying beliefs and thought patterns that lead you to act and behave this way in this particular event?
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