COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS: HOW WE THINK AND PERCEIVE EVENTS NEGATIVELY (second part)

 Dear readers and friends,                                                            

Also today a coaching article on cognitive distortions (the second part), a very interesting and comprehensive article, this time too, of an exercise to use .  This article also has the function of helping if accompanied by sincere introspection, because as I always repeat: no one can lie to themselves and it is useless to make fun of yourself. These articles stimulate self-understanding, acceptance, change where you can and above all love yourself. As in every Life Coaching context we are examining, there are only small explanations and many questions. Finding these answers is our task, discovering ourselves to then improve ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are is the ultimate goal. As has already been said in several articles: 

 “A question at the right time can change your life or at least the vision you have of it.” 

 Most thoughts that automatically appear in our minds are distorted in some way; they may be unrealistically negative or selective to the point of leaving out important information. These cognitive distortions typically result in a negative change in mood and decreased self-esteem. These thoughts occur so frequently that it's easy to not notice them at all, but what we notice is a sudden feeling of sadness, anxiety, or anger. The challenge is learning how to identify these common cognitive distortions, how to challenge them, and ultimately replace them with more helpful and realistic thoughts.  

We continue with the description of cognitive distortions, in the first article we arrived at the distortion:  CONFUSION OF FEELINGS WITH FACTS. But before starting I leave you the link to the previous article.  COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS: HOW WE THINK AND PERCEIVE EVENTS NEGATIVELY (part one)

There are 19 most important cognitive distortions and we will examine them one at a time.

1.  ELIMINATIONS
2. MENTAL FILTER
3. BLACK OR WHITE THINKING / POLARIZED THINKING
4. GENERALIZATION AND CATEGORIZATION
5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHICING)
7. CUSTOMIZATION
8. SELF-VICTIMIZATION (LEARNED HELPLESSNESS)
9. THE ERROR OF EQUITY
10. GUILTY AND IRRESPONSIBILITY
11. THE ERROR OF THE REWARD FROM HEAVEN
12. CONFUSION OF FEELINGS WITH FACTS
13. MISTAKE BELIEFS FOR WHAT IS TRUE
14. LABELING
15. MYSTICAL CONQUESTS
16. STRICT MAINTENANCE OF THE RULES
17. EMOTIONAL REASONING
18. MINIMALIZATION
19. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE

MISTAKE BELIEFS FOR WHAT IS TRUE

 Just because someone believes something doesn't always mean it's true. While there are some examples of sound scientific evidence supporting many things that were once theories (e.g. beliefs like evolution), most beliefs are nothing more than beliefs. 

However, because people put so much personal identity into their beliefs, they distort their beliefs into facts and feel personally challenged and offended by those who challenge or refute them.  Just because you believe something is wrong doesn't mean it is, just because you believe in a God doesn't mean there is one, and just because you don't believe in a God doesn't mean there isn't one.

 People, unfortunately, justify many actions with their beliefs: their beliefs allow them to be prejudiced against groups of people, to behave in certain ways, and to do certain things. 

 LABELING

 When we "label" ourselves based on our behavior in specific situations. We define ourselves by a specific behavior (usually a negative behavior) and fail to consider other positive characteristics and actions. 

For example: “I'm always anxious” even though this isn't always the case, or “I'm not good enough” because you failed at something, even though there are many other things you're good at. Or suppose, for example, you read a troubling article in the newspaper about rising crime throughout the city where you live. The article reinforces your belief that you live in a completely unsafe city, which exacerbates your feeling of anxiety about going out.

MYSTICAL CONQUESTS

 It only takes one thought and one decision to transform everything about how you are living life. 

However, in most cases we are our own greatest enemy by telling ourselves, through mystical conjectures, that we won't be good enough, that we can't do something, that we won't like something, that we will end up feeling this way if we do X, etc.

 We cannot mystically guess our future and how we (or other people and situations) will be or feel in the future. 

 STRICT MAINTENANCE OF THE RULES

 When you have a list of rules about how you and other people should behave. Those rules that just thinking about breaking makes us angry and, if you break the rules, you feel guilty as a result.  

Adopting flexible preferences about yourself, others and the world in general is healthy, often people try to motivate themselves with what they should and shouldn't, almost as if they have to be punished before they can do anything, for example: “ I must… I should… You must… You should…” Such statements provide information about the standards you tend to uphold and the things you expect from others and from yourself. These standards can sometimes be helpful. However, they can also create unrealistic expectations that you or other people will have difficulty meeting.

 The inflexibility of the demands you place on yourself, others and the world around you often means you don't adapt to reality as well as you could. You believe you need to have the approval of your friends and colleagues. This makes you feel anxious in various social situations and pushes you to try to gain everyone's approval. 

 However, because your request is unrealistic, unfortunately it is different, people are governed by their own priorities and you often feel let down by others who don't act the same way you do. 

Adopting flexible preferences about yourself, others, and the world at large is a healthy alternative to inflexible, rigid rule-abiding. Rather than making demands on yourself and others, instead, pay attention to the language. Replace words like “must,” “should,” and “need” with “prefer,” “want,” and “desire.” Limit your search for approval .

EMOTIONAL REASONING

 Often, if we rely heavily on our feelings for guidance, this leads us away from the path of reality. 

Start paying attention to your thoughts. Pay attention to thoughts like “I feel apprehensive,  something must be wrong” and recognize that feelings are often not the best way to measure reality, especially if you are not in the best emotional state right now. Consider how you would view the situation if you felt calmer. See if there is concrete evidence that supports your interpretation of your feelings. Is there really any evidence to suggest that something bad is about to happen?

MINIMALIZATION

 As opposed to magnifying, minimizing is when we downplay our positive attributes. 

Minimization makes us susceptible to being abused, mistreated, and exploited since these behaviors against us are related to how we define and describe ourselves. We devalue ourselves proportionately to the way we put on pedestals and idolize others to the detriment of our own self-esteem and confidence, all in the pursuit of humility.

Our perception of reality is rarely real, and cognitive distortions occur when the brain makes incorrect connections and, in effect, lies to you. Anyone who reads psychology will be familiar with the phrase “correlation does not equal causation ,” and this is where that statement applies.

 It is a cliché to make connections where there are none when interpreting life since most people assume that because two variables are related, one cause leads to another. 

 Cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts and beliefs that we unconsciously reinforce over time through mental or oral repetition and are effective in causing or exacerbating the symptoms of depression if propagated over a long period of time. 

Minimization is a defense mechanism employed to help the individual overcome adversity, but its power to generate distorted thinking causes greater long-term damage. Starting a daily journal where you only note the positive experiences you have had throughout the day (no matter how minor), practicing gratitude, and focusing on building a foundation for self-esteem and internal validation will allow you to stop minimizing your value and yourself. While taking a step back from reality, practicing objective questioning and emotional accountability allows for an empowered and measured reaction to maximization.

 DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE

 Disqualifying the positive means processing information in a partial way. Disqualifying the positive is a mental process that transforms a positive event into a neutral or negative event in your mind. 

For example, you believe you are worthless and when you find out you get a promotion at work you say to yourself “it doesn't count because anyone could get this kind of thing.” Instead of feeling satisfied with yourself, you feel quite disappointed.

After reading all this information and having done mental work, I propose a couple of exercises, practical work to help understanding and begin to avoid cognitive distortions. 

 

QUESTIONS FOR SELF-REFLECTION:

1. How many of these cognitive distortions can you recognize within your thinking?

 

2. Can you identify any of these cognitive distortions that could be harmful in the context of your current personal relationships?

 

3. Can you identify any of these cognitive distortions that could be harmful in the context of your current professional relationships?

 

   4. How you could become more effective at recognizing your destructive thought patterns e
        those of your customers in the future?

 

CHALLENGE USELESS THOUGHTS

YOUR EXERCISE ON COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS

This exercise challenges you to look deeply. Take the time to reflect on events that have occurred in your life and consider whether cognitive distortions are involved and their connection and relationship to your limiting beliefs and resulting emotional consequences.

Can you identify what part of your thought process caused the emotions you felt? What limiting beliefs underlie the distortion? Write down five negative and five positive life events to analyze and dissect them as much as possible.

Positive life event	Negative life event	Limiting Belief (Cognitive Distortion)	Emotional Consequences Feelings Experienced

  We have reached the end of the article, which as said many times, can be helpful if performed with sincere introspection, not as a simple reading. For anyone who feels they need help, I invite you to contact the specialized staff to do so.

Thank you for your attention shown to me and I invite you to leave your mark in the comments.