Dear readers and friends, Original Article
Today a coaching article on the use of our mind. This article also has the function of helping if accompanied by sincere introspection, because as I always repeat: no one can lie to themselves and it is useless to make fun of yourself. These articles stimulate self-understanding, acceptance, change where you can and above all love yourself. As in every Life Coaching context we are examining, there are only small explanations and many questions. Finding these answers is our task, discovering ourselves to then improve ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are is the ultimate goal. As has already been said in several articles:
“A question at the right time can change your life or at least the vision you have of it.”
Obviously anyone who needs help must contact the staff assigned to do so, contact them!
The human mind can be our greatest ally or our most troublesome enemy if we don't fully understand it or how we can manage it. The wise mind model is a basic model that helps us understand ourselves by looking at the mind not from a scientific perspective, but from a more practical perspective. The human mind has three states: the reasonable mind, the emotional mind and the wise mind. We all possess each of these states, but most people operate in a specific one most of the time.
THE THINKING (REASONABLE) MIND: People who are highly academic or rooted in logic tend to engage in a power dynamics-oriented dialectic. They are usually opinionated thinkers who focus more on right and wrong and temper their arguments and opinions with facts and information. The reasonable mind relies on information and facts, is cold, calculating, and plans without consideration of other human qualities, often to the detriment of productivity or effectiveness. While all of this is admirable and noteworthy, facts, opinions and information, these things are all useless unless they are incorporated into a person's life and put into practice.
An individual uses the rational part of their mind when approaching a situation intellectually, but this often leads to a battle of wits rather than the search for understanding. The reasonable mind can be “insensitive,” even cruel. He is often uncompromising and follows the rules. It's one thing to be informed, it's another thing to be understanding and open-minded.
THE SENTIMENTAL (EMOTIONAL) MIND: The emotional part of our mind triggers and gives voice to the emotions we feel, whether we feel doubtful, fearful or happy. People who operate predominantly from the emotional part of their mind are usually very easy to read and tend to be more reactive in the situations they find themselves in, investing less time in mental processing than those who operate from the thinking mind.
If the reasonable mind is something like a controlled, closed scientific laboratory, the emotional mind is more like the ocean where any weather can occur. The emotional mind is the place of feelings where emotions determine an individual's thoughts and behaviors. People who are emotionally driven can be somewhat unreliable and may act impulsively and pay little consideration to consequences because the quality of their life is emotionally reliable, which means that their lives lack stable foundations and such instability has a direct impact or indirect on others. The emotional mind does not necessarily work with facts, but generally works on what it believes is the truth, or on a perception of the truth, or simply on a projection of what it thinks might be the truth.
THE WISE MIND: The wise mind is the balance between the reasonable mind and the emotional mind. It exists when an individual recognizes and respects their feelings, but is still able to respond to them in a rational and mature way. The wise mind is where the reasonable mind and the emotional mind overlap; it is the part of every person that can know and experience the truth; where order and chaos can mix in a meaningful way and where you can experience a feeling and understand the reasons for it.
As always, after the theory, the real work follows: exercises and self-reflection.
THE EXERCISE OF THE WISE MIND
The reasonable mind
Can you think of a recent time when you were coolly rational? Maybe you were making a plan in a way that made perfect sense, but maybe it didn't take into account the feelings of others? Maybe you responded to an emotional friend or family member with rational advice and they didn't respond rationally? Can you analyze this scenario and see what was happening to you and the person you were interacting with?
Situation:
Action/behavior:
Result:
Analyses:
The emotional mind
Can you think of recent times when you acted from a place of emotion? Maybe you got angry or are you very happy? Can you think about the decisions you made while you were in that heightened emotional state? Describe the result and your analysis.
Situation:
Emotion:
Action/Decision:
Result:
Analyses:
The wise mind
Now, can you think of a recent time when you were able to balance your rational and emotional brain during an interaction? See if you can remember one and write down the details:
Situation:
Emotion/Thoughts:
Action/Decision:
Result:
Analyses:
Using the Wise Mind is like riding a bicycle: it requires effort, balance and the ability to maneuver. We can learn to use the Wise Mind just as we learned to ride a bicycle: through experience.
Just as we have to pedal to start a bicycle, we must be willing to put in a little more effort to start the wise mind. By analyzing our interactions, we become more aware of our balance and whether we are achieving it. Once we become competent at taming our own emotional triggers, we consequently become efficient at helping other people tame theirs.
Intuition guides us towards the wise mind. The onslaught of unpleasant emotions (anxiety, depression, anger, shame, guilt, etc.) is like losing control and losing balance.
We can learn to activate the wise mind to find and maintain balance.
As we develop our wise mind, we naturally and gradually develop a sense of inner confidence to face difficult times. We may still make mistakes or lose balance, but we will maintain our sense of perspective and be quicker to regain balance.
When we access the Wise Mind we can:
- Maintain or regain calm when attacked or confronted
- Intuitively sense what will calm emotions when you are in the heat of a crisis or internal conflict
- Find clarity in choice when you are confused
- You are sensitive to the state of others in decision making
Many benefits accompany the development of the Wise part of your Mind (which only requires a little practice), and they are the following:
- A more peaceful and pleasant participation in life
- Greater ability to identify, understand and tame self-sabotaging beliefs, thoughts, feelings and habits
- The elimination of destructive thought patterns that fuel future suffering
- The strengthening of models that sow future happiness
- Continuous and effective emotional regulation (especially during times of crisis and extreme challenges)
- Increased ability to tolerate painful life events
- Emotional resilience
- Improved interpersonal and emotional intelligence
QUESTIONS FOR SELF-REFLECTION:
1. What steps can you take today to further develop the growth of the Wise part of your Mind?
2. How might you encourage your future clients to further develop the wise part of their mind?
3. How might your clients benefit from developing the wise part of their mind?
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