The Obstacles to Communication

 Dear readers and friends,

Today I present to you a short but intense life coaching article, as always a sincere introspection is required even with the suggestions below. Obviously, in addition to reading these articles, it would be useful to try to use them in daily life, practicing to be better every day than the past day. This article focuses on communication and the obstacles to having it right.

"Listening without bias or distraction is the greatest gift you can give another person." (Denis Waitley)

Communication obstacles

Gordon, in his work as a psychologist, has identified a series of phrases, communication styles and behaviors that sometimes, unintentionally, people can use towards others and which create, in those who receive them, distancing and closure. The author has called them "Obstacles to communication", as they create a barrier in the dialogue between people.

•   Giving orders, directing, commanding (Ex: “Stop…”)
•  Threatening, warning (Ex: "Watch out for you... it will end badly!")
•  Lecture (Ex:  “It would be better if you……” )
• Advising, offering pre-packaged solutions (Ex :"Try doing this..." )
•  Teaching, persuading, influencing (Ex: “Kids your age should act this way”)
•  Judging, criticizing (“You are immature!”)
• To praise, to indulge too much
• To ridicule, to humiliate
• Interpret, analyse, diagnose (Ex:  "You do it because you are jealous of...." )
• Console, reassure, deny feelings (Ex:  "Don't worry, it will pass!" )
• Investigate, ask questions (Ex:  “Who put those ideas in your head?” )
• Minimize, change the subject, distract ( "Don't think about it, let's talk about good things now!" )

As you have surely noticed, many of these attitudes seem common in our way of doing things, so normal that we don't realize how much they can hinder our communications and consequently our interpersonal relationships.