Dear readers and friends.
However, when our decisions don't align with our values, that's when we start to feel like something is "wrong," and this can lead to dissatisfaction, frustration, and in some cases, even bitterness or resentment.
To avoid this, we need to make a real effort to identify what our values really are.
Values enhance the self, and when we love, relate, grow, value, and protect, we become more valuable.
Values are part of us: they highlight what we stand for. They represent our unique, individual essence and act as the primary driving force behind our actions and behaviors providing us with a set of "rules" to follow, along with a personal code of conduct.
Values guide our decisions. While our values in life are constant, our priorities are always changing; therefore the way we prioritize our values is subject to change. Our core values also help us manage our personal resources like time and money wisely. simply put, core values serve us as effective decision-making guidelines that help us remain congruent, consistent, and balanced in the eyes of other people. Just like a company's core values, our personal core values guide our behavior and choices in life that ultimately affect other people.
Without a solid understanding of what our core values are, we will find ourselves feeling lost, disorganized, and baseless in every aspect of our lives. Value plays an important role in one's mental well-being: when we respect our core values we feel authentic and motivated, but when we lose sight of them or act against them, we become numb to guilt and shame and feel devoured by an absolute sense of meaninglessness.
Values enhance the self, and when we love, relate, grow, value, and protect, we become more valuable.
While your personal core values may not exactly match someone else's, understanding what they are will still help you determine the surrounding culture and make more informed decisions. Some people will consciously (or unconsciously) use their personal core values to choose friendships, relationships, and even business partnerships.
Our core values also help us manage our personal resources like time and money wisely. Simply put, core values serve us as effective decision-making guidelines that help us remain congruent, consistent, and balanced in the eyes of other people.
No one trusts anyone who presents himself as inconsistent with the promised values. Our values should (ideally) determine our priorities in life. Life usually goes quite well and we feel contented and satisfied when the decisions we make match our values and priorities. You may wonder why are personal core values so important? However, when our decisions don't align with our values, that's when we start to feel like something is "wrong," and this can lead to dissatisfaction, frustration, and in some cases, even bitterness or resentment. To avoid this, we need to make a real effort to identify what our values really are.
HOW CAN I IDENTIFY MY VALUES?
Our values are like a compass that points us to our "true north". This working module provides great exercises that will help you clearly identify your personal values.
Exercise 1
Can you reflect on a time when you felt happy, accomplished, and proud of yourself? Take some time to describe this moment in detail. Identify what particular elements of this situation led to these feelings of happiness and pride.
2. Were you with other people, and if so with whom?
3. What other factors have contributed to your happiness?
In the same way that we feel happy and fulfilled when we live our values, we can also experience feelings of regret, sadness, and emptiness when we don't live our values.
Exercise 2
Describe the details of this situation/ memory: What specifically was it that led to these feelings of regret?
Feeling frustrated or dissatisfied can often be a sign that our values may be overruled, perhaps by parts of ourselves, external situations, or other people.
Exercise 3
Take note of the particular elements of this situation that have led to these feelings of frustration, unfulfillment, and emptiness.
There are certain activities that we can find ourselves doing that absorb us and get us into the flow. They are usually challenging and rewarding activities, and when we do them we often lose track of time.
Exercise 4
What is it about these activities in particular that you enjoy so much?
We cannot grow in life without being evoked by inspiration: creativity, self-confidence, perceived competence and optimism are all consequences of inspiration.
From an early age we adopt this idea of wanting to be like someone to become someone; whereas in our early years our concept of inspiration tended to revolve around what you wanted to be career-wise, as we get older we take inspiration from people whose works we admire traits. There are certain people we meet in life who we find inspiring and who embody qualities or who live lives we aspire to.
Exercise 5
Who are your role models and what qualities do you admire in these individuals?
Exercise 6
Everyone has something to offer the world. Take time on this page to acknowledge what you need to give to those around you and what makes you valuable.
When do other people usually turn to you for help?
What qualities and gifts do you identify in yourself that you feel others may find of value?
Exercise 7
Consider why each experience is so memorable and important?
Use the list of common personal values on the next page to get started: aim for around 10 core values. As you go through this exercise, you may find that some of these values combine naturally. For example, if you value generosity, philanthropy, and community, you might say that serving others is one of your core values.
Exercise 8
Now take a few minutes to prioritize your "core" values. This step is usually the most challenging as you will need to look deep within yourself. However, it is also the most important step, because when faced with a decision, you may have to choose between solutions that satisfy different values.
This is when it is crucial to know which value is most important to you. Without worrying about the order, make a list of your top 10 values. Look at the first two values in the list and ask yourself, "If you could only satisfy one of these, which one would you choose?"
Work your way through the list, comparing each value to each of the other values until you have the list in the correct order for you.
Exercise 9
Reaffirming Your Values - Take a few minutes to check your priority values and make sure they fit your life and vision.
2. Are you proud of your top three values?
3. Would you feel comfortable telling people that you respect your values?
4. Do these values represent things you would support, even if your choice was unpopular and outvoted you?
When you consider your values in your decision-making process, you can be sure that you maintain a sense of integrity and what you know is right, while being able to approach decisions with confidence and clarity. You will also know that what you are currently doing is motivated by the progress you want to make in life. It's not always easy to make choices based on value, but it will most likely make life a lot easier in the long run.
KEY POINTS
- Identifying and taking the time to understand your values is an important and challenging exercise. Your personal values are at the heart of who you are and who you want to become.
- By becoming more aware of these important factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to making the best choice in any situation. Some of life's decisions are really about determining what you value most.
- When many options seem reasonable, it can be comforting and helpful to rely on your core values and use them as a strong driving force to point you in the right direction.
Note: While this list of potential values is comprehensive, it is not necessarily complete. Feel free to add to the list if needed.
Well, we've reached the end of the article, I know it's a little longer than usual and maybe even more challenging but I hope that in addition to reading it you've also tried these "simple" exercises. With the hope that they have been useful to you, I wish you a peaceful and happy life.
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