EXERCISE TO IMPROVE MATURITY AND CHARACTER

 Dear Readers and Friends,

As in every Life Coaching context we are examining, there are only small explanations and many questions. Finding these answers is our task, discovering ourselves and then improving ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are is the ultimate goal. As has already been said in several articles: 

“A question at the right time can change your life or at least your vision of it.” 

So let's continue the series of Life Coaching articles with the same pattern.

Last but not least, nobody can deceive themselves, they can believe they can, but if we don't accept ourselves and are honest with ourselves, nothing we're doing will work.

This is the safe place where you can show your True Self without receiving criticism or suggestions, just questions at the right time.

The only thing we have control over in life is how we choose to respond and react to situations. Life is lived inside, not outside. Our emotional and mental well-being is not in the hands of external circumstances; we choose how we respond. Some people need to create noise in their lives because peace scares them. When we have quiet and peace in our lives, it suddenly forces us into a state of self-awareness and reflection.

Those who seek chaos and noise demonstrate their reluctance to face their problems. The only way problems can be useful to us is if we manage them and learn to deal with them effectively, consciously and responsibly. It all depends on how we respond to our external environment.

This exercise is designed to walk us through the choices we all face as we grow in maturity and character. Take some time for yourself and answer the questions honestly, the answers you find will open up a whole new world to you.

By having a deep awareness of our current choices, we can consciously process the decisions we will make in the future and how these may affect the way we live.

RESPONSIBLE VS IRRESPONSIBLE

We need to compare and identify which behaviors, attitudes or beliefs are not working and take responsibility for changing them.

EXERCISE

1. What aspects of your life have you consciously taken responsibility for, and what aspects of your life do you still need to take responsibility for?
2. Are there aspects of your life (beliefs, habits, mindsets, or attitudes) that you feel are holding you back in life?
3. What if you stopped thinking of these things as just “part of who you are” and instead thought of them as parts of you that you could change if you took responsibility for changing them?
4. What would be your next step?
5. Do you have a natural inclination to take responsibility for other people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves?
6. How might you take less responsibility for others to encourage them to step up and start taking more responsibility for themselves?
7. What would change in your life if you started taking less responsibility for other people's problems?

HUMILITY VS ARROGANCE AND PRIDE

Humility is what helps us get out of our useless habits, because humility is when we humbly know our flaws, weaknesses and imperfections and are aware of them.

EXERCISE

1. What aspects of yourself do you get defensive about if someone criticizes you about them?
2. How have you responded to criticism on these issues in the past?
3. If you were honest with yourself, what flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections do you accept that you have but are willing to face and work through to encourage your growth and progress in life? How do you plan to address these parts of yourself (without shame or punishment)?
4. Are there times when you have not taken responsibility for the role you played in a situation and the results that followed?
5. How do you think the outcome would have changed if you had taken responsibility?
6. How do you think your life would change if you took responsibility for your imperfections?

SLOW TO ANGER VS FAST TO ANGER

Self-awareness fuels self-management, and self-management influences the health and stability of our social engagement.

EXERCISE

1. Are you quick or slow to anger, or a mix of both? Write down the scenarios in which you are quick to get angry, then write down the scenarios in which you are calmer. Can you identify the causal difference between the two?
2. Write a case study about yourself of a time when you got angry easily: note the circumstance, how you felt about yourself, how you felt about the circumstance, and how you felt afterwards. What would you do differently if you could do it again?

PROMOTERS OF UNITY AGAINST PROMOTERS OF DISUNITY

We grow most as people when we are surrounded by people whose worldview we do not understand, because it is only by seeking to understand one another that we can conceptualize a way of living in harmony together.

EXERCISE

1. Are you committed to working with and understanding other people, or are you more interested in doing things your own way?
2. What changes can you start making today to better understand others and start working with others?

SEARCH FOR GROWTH VERSUS SEARCH FOR PLEASURE

Those who seek growth are those who break out of the victim mentality and take responsibility for the direction their lives take, their thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors.

EXERCISE

1. Do you embrace challenges and look for ways to grow and develop, or have you run away from change?
2. In what areas of your life could you start improving today, prioritizing growth over pleasure?
3. Next time you find yourself resisting growth and embracing pleasure, what's one action step you can take to get back on track?

FAITH IN THE FUTURE VS FEAR OF THE FUTURE

Active faith means taking action and taking responsibility for the outcome knowing that you have made decisions based on your best judgment in the present moment.

EXERCISE

1. Do you take risks with the faith that things will work out for the best, or do you tend to “play it safe” for fear of making mistakes?
2. How much more could you achieve in your life if you stopped being afraid and started having more faith?

DECISIVENESS VERSUS INDECISIVENESS 

Those who are undecided find themselves in this situation because they are unsure of who they really are, what they stand for, and what their motives should be.

EXERCISE

1. What are some useful and unhelpful ways you respond to stress?
2. What are the most stressful situations you find yourself in that cause you to resort  to safe but ultimately unhelpful coping mechanisms? How do these situations differ from the type of stressful situations you are able to handle? Analyze the two different stress-related scenarios and identify what triggers an “unmanageable” stressful situation versus a manageable one.
3. In what areas of your life do you find yourself doubting yourself or changing your mind?
4. Can you identify areas of your life where you are motivated only by superficial and selfish things like money and fame? How can you translate your thinking into these areas to provide greater motivation?

GOVERNED BY FACTS VS GOVERNED BY FEELINGS

A life governed by facts is stable and constant, while a life governed by feelings is turbulent and susceptible to spontaneous change. 

EXERCISE

1. Are you completely honest with yourself and others in all areas of life?
2. Are you holding back just to keep peace with others?
3. Who could you be more honest with today if you weren't worried about how others would react?

Being honest with ourselves   is   the key that opens the door to the infinite within us.