Dear Readers and Friends,
As in every Life Coaching context we are examining, there are only small explanations and many questions. Finding these answers is our task, discovering ourselves and then improving ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are is the ultimate goal. As has already been said in several articles:
“A question at the right time can change your life or at least your vision of it.”
So let's continue the series of Life Coaching articles with the same pattern.
Last sad note: no one can fool themselves, they can believe they can, but if you don't accept yourself and be honest with yourself, nothing we are doing will work. This is the safe place where you can show your True Self without receiving criticism or suggestions, only questions at the right time.
Today I present to you a very interesting article with attached exercise: THE LOCUS OF CONTROL and how to use it to better understand how much control you have over your life.
CIRCLE OF WORRY VS CIRCLE OF CONTROL
The Circle of Concern vs. the Circle of Control is a variation of Rotter’s LOCUS OF CONTROL. The two circles help us identify how we show up in life: whether we are influencing the world or being influenced by it (i.e. you are an influencer or you are influenced). The patterns help us identify those who are reactors in life (i.e. victims) from those who are pro-active in life (with their decisions, choices, outcomes, results, behaviors, and consequences).
The worry circle represents what our energy looks like when we focus on other people, whether they are celebrities we idolize, social media influencers, or our peers. We allow these external influencers to influence what we wear, eat, do, where we work, what we say yes to, what we stand for, and what we like and dislike. There are people who live their lives in fear because of what they read on the news, while others never leave their hometown because they don’t want to upset their family or try something new and daring. Most people in this circle are primarily influenced by fear of not conforming, meaning they are paranoid about what people might think of them if they dressed, acted, or were the way they want to be.
Those who are guided by their own goals, vision, standards, and values regardless of other people's standards appear in the circle of control. People who fall into this circle are those who are no longer controlled or governed by what external factors say or do. They accept that they cannot control the news, trends, other people's opinions, the weather, threats, what happens, or the economy, but they can control what they buy, where they work, how they feel, how they behave and respond, what they have done, and where they live. They have enough power to make congruent decisions outside the circle of control: they choose what boundaries to set, where to go, what they like and dislike, what they believe, and what their attitudes are.
ROTTER LOCUS OF CONTROL SCALE
The principle of “Locus of Control” was coined by Julian Rotter (1954). It considers the idea that people tend to believe that control lives either internally (within themselves) or externally (with others or the situation). This is, of course, a spectrum. Some individuals have a locus of control that is entirely internal or external, but others will have some balance between the two. For example, some people may be more internal at home while more external at work.
Internal: Those with a high internal locus of control believe in their ability to control themselves and influence the external world. They see themselves as having control over their future and recognize that the choices they make will lead to their success or failure. Their belief in their ability to change things may lead to an increase in their level of confidence, and they will seek out information that will help them influence people and situations. They are also likely to be more motivated and driven by success.
External: Those with a high external locus of control believe that they personally have little or no control over events and what others do. They may also believe that other people have control over them and that they have no choice but to obey.
People with an external locus of control are usually fatalistic. They see things from the perspective that life and events are just happening to them and there is little they can do about it. This tends to make them quite passive and accepting. If they feel they have succeeded in something, they will be more likely to attribute it to luck as a prerequisite to their ability/talent.
This is a questionnaire that will help you determine where your locus of control is. Each question consists of a pair of alternatives (a or b). Select the statement that you believe is more strongly true for each pair. Make sure you choose the one that you actually believe is more true, rather than the one you think you should choose or the one you wish were true. Remember, this questionnaire measures personal beliefs, so there are no right or wrong answers.
Consider your answers carefully but do not spend too much time on each one. In some questions, you may find that you believe both or neither of the statements are true. In this case, simply select the one that you believe more strongly to be true. Finally, try to answer each question independently when making your choice; do not let your previous choices influence you.
1.a. Children end up getting into trouble because their parents punish them too much. B. The problem with most children today is that their parents are too lenient with them.
2.a. Many of the unhappy things in the lives of individuals are partly due to bad luck. B. Individual misfortunes arise from the mistakes they make.
3.a. One of the main reasons we have wars is because individuals do not care enough about politics. B. There will always be wars, no matter how hard people try to prevent them.
4.a. In the long run, individuals get the respect they deserve in this world. B. Unfortunately, an individual's value is often not recognized, no matter how hard one tries.
5.a. The idea that teachers are unfair to students is ridiculous. B. Most students do not realize the extent to which their grades/achievements are influenced by accidental events.
6.a. Without proper breaks, an individual cannot be an effective leader. B. Capable people who fail to become leaders have not taken advantage of the opportunities that have come their way.
7.a. No matter how hard you try, some people just won't like you. B. People who can't get others to like you don't understand how to get along with others.
8.a. Heredity plays an important role in determining a person's personality. B. It is an individual's life experiences that determine who they are.
9.a. I have often found that what will happen will happen. B. Trusting in fate has never worked as well for me as making a decision to take a certain course of action.
10.a. In the case of a well-prepared student, what would be known as an unfair test rarely, if ever, occurs. B. It often happens that exam questions tend to be so unrelated to the course work that studying is effectively pointless.
11.a. Becoming a success is the result of hard work, luck has little or nothing to do with it. B. Finding a good job is above all about being in the right place at the right time.
12.a. An average citizen can have an influence on government decisions. B. This world is run by the few in power, and there is not much the little guy can do about it.
13.a. When I make plans, I am almost certain that I can make them work. B. It is not always wise to plan too far in advance because many things turn out to be fortunate or unfortunate anyway.
14.a. There are some people who are just no good. B. There is good in all of us.
15.a. In my case, getting what I want has little or nothing to do with luck. B. Many times we could also decide what to do by tossing a coin.
16.a. Who becomes the boss usually depends on who was lucky enough to be in the right place first. B. Convincing people to do the right thing depends on skill. Luck has little or no effect.
17.a. In terms of world affairs, most of us are victims of forces we can neither understand nor control. B. By playing an active role in political and social affairs, people can control world events.
18.a. Most people don't realize how much their lives are influenced by accidental events. B. There is no such thing as "luck."
19.a. You should always be willing to admit your mistakes. B. It is usually better to hide your mistakes.
20.a. It's hard to know if someone really likes you. B. How many friends you have depends on how nice a person you are.
21.a. In the long run, the bad things that happen to us are balanced by the good ones. B. Most misfortunes are the result of lack of ability, laziness, ignorance, or all three.
22.a. With enough effort, we can abolish political corruption. B. It is difficult for people to have much control over what politicians do when they are in office.
23.a. Sometimes I can't understand how teachers arrive at the grades they give. B. There is a direct connection between how hard I study and the grades I get.
24.a. A good leader expects people to make their own decisions about what they should do. B. A good leader makes it clear to everyone what their duties are.
25.a. I often feel that I have little influence on the things that happen to me. B. It is impossible for me to believe that luck or chance plays a significant role in my life.
26.a. Individuals are lonely because they don't try to be friendly. B. There's little point in trying to please others; if they like you, they like you.
27.a. There is too much emphasis on sports in high school. B. Team sports are a great way to build character.
28.a. What happens to me is my own doing. B. Sometimes I feel like I don't have enough control over the direction my life is taking.
29.a. Most of the time I can't understand why politicians behave the way they do. B. In the long run, the people are responsible for bad government at both the national and local levels.
Scoring: Score one point for each of the following: 1.a, 2.a, 3.b, 4.b, 5.b, 6.a, 7.a, 9.a, 10.b, 11.b, 12.b, 13.b, 15.b, 16.a, 17.a, 18.a, 20.a, 21.a, 22.b, 23.a, 25.a, 26.b, 28.b, 29.a.
A higher score = External Locus of Control
A lower score = Internal Locus of Control
The future is what we do and we get what we work for in life .
We need to be more courageous and confident and start being open to challenges, change and ideas to shift our mindset from an external to an internal locus of control. We need to invest more energy and passion in personal growth than in the desire to 'feel better or happier'.
Hoping that the article can be of help to you, I ask you to leave a sign of your passage in the comments.
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